In order to have JOY, you have to give up these things...

If you are anything like me, you hate people telling you what to do so I won't do that, I'll just share with you what has worked for me.

1. Anger: The bible says, "don't sin by letting anger control you"(Ephesians 4:26) So many times, we have underlying hurt that hasn't been realized or processed so when something small (or large) disrupts our life we explode. And I know what you're thinking, "Ashleigh I'm not angry... well, I don't feel angry." Can we unpack that statement a little bit?

   1. I don't often feel angry either but I do feel like I want to quit so that for ME was a direct correlation that I needed to do a heart check and see what I was harboring that I needed to release to God.

   2. Easily frustrated to an irrational level... Traffic am I right? It sucks for all of us, but when someone cuts you off or makes a turn that feels very rude, I used to yell and scream inside of my car at the person who couldn't hear me and probably didn't care; but my heart rate would be up and I would be fuming. One day while worshipping someone cut me off and it almost caused an accident. I didn't yell, I didn't scream, I thanked God for my safety instead and continued worshipping. Immediately, I felt a sense of relief and I noticed I didn't get upset. I was so proud of myself! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID DEVIL! Then maybe two weeks later, I got angry again... now what's this all about? I was feeling...

   3. OVERWHELMED. Lacking control and feeling like God is saying words but not complete sentences. Feeling overwhelmed makes me feel scared. I feel like I'm wading water in the middle of the ocean with no lifeboat. That fear has caused me to stop walking even though I know God is with me. I've stopped praying because I was angry... I even contemplated leaving the church ( and I wasn't even mad at the church-I was upset with God) but I'm glad I didn't! I told anger, NO MORE! I choose JOY instead!

2. Lack: Psalms 23:1 says, "The Lord is my shepherd, I have ALL that I need." This one may take time to get down in your spirit but when it does, He will remind you that He has always been there with you.

   1. Development is needed. When you've lived in scarcity like I have. Hungry, living in shelters, being poor, not knowing where your next meal would come from; it's a hard transition mentally to release the "I can do it by myself" spirit to the lord. But, you CAN DO IT! The development phase is where God had me on a stewardship journey for years so that I could learn to have a better relationship with money before he gave me my house, a larger credit limit and even wise counsel for my next assignment.

   2. Confidence! in 2 Kings 4, the prophet Elisha asks the widow, "what do you have in the house?" To which she responded, "nothing at all, EXCEPT a flask of oil." Some of us (ME included) have SO many gifts and talents that God has blessed us with. Some are businesses others may be ministries and some are just for His glory but all require confidence. Stop saying what you don't have and minimizing your God-given gifts, talents and FAVOR! Be confident, be YOU!

   3. Mental adjustments: The largest battle I fight daily, is ME. I encourage myself a lot because I'm alone a lot. Me and Jesus spend time together and it's precious to me But when life is harder than I feel I can handle, I usually turn my worship music on and tell God all about it. I say, "Lord, I need you" a lot and I feel no shame in it. Overcoming body dysmorphia, feeling too big or small, wanting a fuller set of lips or a different set of parents to love me has all shaped my mindset. Slowly, I've been battling myself to overcome the life I thought would be best, for the one that is unfolding in front of me daily.

3. UNFORGIVENESS: This is by far THEE hardest one.

   1. LET IT GO. All of it. Release them. Release you. Release the action. Release the misstep. Release your disappointment. Release your heartbreak. Release your frustrations. Release your disdain. Release your imaginary life and timeline. Release the lie you told yourself and the omissions you've never spoken aloud. RELEASE IT!

   2. In Isaiah 43:25 the Lord says, "I-yes, I alone will blot out your sins for my own sake and I will never think of them again" If God said this to His people (that's you and me) then once we've fallen into sin and repented for our actions... truly repented. Turning away and running back to God, not walking, but full on olympic gold medal running THEN we can make this bold declaration too. God has forgiven you and now you need to forgive yourself.

   3. If you keep your fist closed, then you can only keep what's in your hand... but eventually you grip gets tired. In Hebrews 12:12 says, "So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees." Open your hand. You can't take a new grip if you don't ever open your hands. You are not running this race called life for yourself... you are running this race for the Lord and others are watching you being inspired, so KEEP GOING!

There's Joy on the other side of you... push past the person you were and become the person God has called you to be!

And hey, I like that smile. It looks good on you!

Love you, mean it!